homeward

As many of you know, on April 1st, 2017, I made the bold decision to move to Denver, Colorado to finish my degree of graphic and web design at the Art Institute of Colorado. I didn't realize it at the time but I was also chasing other dreams like the need I had in my heart to travel and the pursuit of the unknown. I left Oklahoma thinking that everything I have ever desired in life was ahead of me. I intentionally left thinking that opportunity only existed outside of Oklahoma; my comfort zone.

Honestly, moving to Colorado wasn't easy. I knew it was going to be tough before my move but I didn't fully understand the depth of difficulty that was ahead. As I was alone I realized I had never had the opportunity to really be by myself before. I came from living in a home with eight other people at all times to living on my own in another state. It was freeing at first, but then I realized I didn't now know how to be alone. I didn't know anyone and I was working a job that made it hard to meet other people. The job itself was just a 100% commission job for portrait sales. It honestly was fun for the travel but the company itself wasn't the greatest. However, I am super thankful I was able to see places my heart had only dreamt of. While traveling I realized that I loved being able to see new places, things, and people; but I longed for the feeling of home. This caused me to come to reality with a few of my own demons and I had to face them myself. I didn't realize it at the time but I was becoming very unhealthy in every aspect of my life. I was constantly chasing things to fill the void that I kept in my wandering heart. This all lead me to a moment of breaking.

I knew that this battle that was being fought internally and I had to re-evaluate my reasoning behind moving to Colorado.  After I started taking classes at The Art Institute I went through the details in my financial aid and I realized that I would be 96,000 in debt at the end of my four-year degree. I ultimately felt like being that far in debt wasn't the smartest way to set myself up for my financial future. So after my online courses and my summer semester with them I decided to take the fall off and just give it all to God.

Throughout that process I didn't think that I would ever consider moving back to Tulsa. I would pray day after day "God, just show me a sign on what I should do." I remember making a drive back from Clovis, NM for work while listening to one of Steven Furtick's sermons on the road. There wasn't a point in the sermon that pointed me to this exact thought, but it helped align my mind and soul to accept what God was telling me. I felt like he was whispering to my heart "Morgan, I am with you wherever you go. Whatever you chose to do I will be there every step of the way." At that moment I knew that no matter where I'm at. No matter what I chose to do he is guiding my steps. This thought was something I've known for a while, but I cannot even begin to explain the peace of understanding that overcame me.

At that time I was still not sold on the idea of moving back home. I thought that would display failure and giving up when it got tough. I spent a week and a half back home with my bestfriend, Taylor Hernandez and we were starting to plan our PEAK workshop. Taylor definitely used every bit of nostalgia she could to help persuade me, but that was not the deciding factor. While I was back home I realized two things. I had a fantastic community in Tulsa I did not take advantage of. I almost shut myself off from the community I would've flourished in because I thought there wasn't a point to meet new people almost a year before my move. As I began to reconnect with the local creatives my heart and mind were flooded with so many new ideas. I realized then that I just didn't have that spirit when I was in Denver.

The second thing I realized was that I was not growing in biblical community and my faith had become stagnant. I wasn't taking my time to be with God everyday and it was causing lack in so many areas of my life. I asked God then on my way back to Tulsa to show me where my heart was and to show me where I could grow into my fullest potential. It was then again I had betrayed His sweet words of confirmation I heard on my way back from New Mexico.

"fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."

      - Isaiah 41:10

After re-evaluating the choices in my head over and over I made my choice. I was coming back to Tulsa. Not out of cowardice or even empathy. It was out of the strength that came from knowing who I am and what I want to do. I made the choice to finish my degree back in Tulsa at TCC for a little bit before transferring to OSU-Tulsa to finish my bachelor’s degree in marketing.

 

I don't regret moving to Denver. In fact, I am still so in love with this city and I am incredibly thankful I was able to call it my home for the six months I was here. I learned, grew, and experienced so many new and important things. Who knows, maybe God will call me back to the mile-high city, but for right now I'm heading home...

and I could not be more excited.